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TRANSCRIPT
I need to watch this movie
[Laughter]
I haven’t seen the Falcon under there
isn’t one sir
Oh your spider-sense must be tingling he
shot webs all over your face happy
birthday thank you yeah glad somebody
remembered that’s that’s weak
that’s weak do you not get what was a
gift no I know the checks in my mouth
and I didn’t know and then on Twitter
they were like oh Chris you missed his
birthday
he’s got a lot going on oh we’ve heard
the you know you’ve heard you say you
know the best have you done this film so
far bro actually done really well I
would be the raccoon raccoon Christmas
more time in the hair and makeup chair
than we did what you got you didn’t what
are you doing in there getting like a
full face why does it I see we got out
of 20 minutes
that is not try Luka what like cuz I’m
waiting on the set like everybody else
like where the hell is I don’t think
you’ve ever been on time do you need a
watch it’s for Christmas oh you birthday
or whatever anyway now we don’t like
each other no it’s gone beyond insult
now we’re just airing out all of our
problems I mean
oh that’s me right just when I wake up
you choking
that looks like Emmet Brenner
that’s down it is Robert Downey Joe
that’s our DJ Anthony Mackie and
suggestion being just busting they will
up my balls everywhere you went it was
like they would do an interview and they
would say Tom Hollands a little yeah
that was Anthony yes Anthony Mackie my
good friend its lucky you’re beautiful
because there’s nothing up here that’s
me did you just saw your dumb you went
straight to dumb like woman I was like
oh you’re wearing my grandma’s sweater
and then you’re like you’re dumb all
right
Tom’s ass all right so a lot of hair gel
a lot of jail a lot of mousse like he
has like you know we have our DJ in the
movie our DJ is our DJ tom has his own
base camp yes like entourage in LA when
we see it the first time he there’s
gonna be a separate little red carpet
for him and he’s gonna go off to another
cinema watched Toy Story 3 man it the
animation is great I don’t know they cut
me out of the film but it was obviously
he never saw my suit
all he has is spandex and webs
I can cut webs with my wings I can shoot
him with my guns I can aim my missiles
at him he has none of that he’s just a
kid in spandex uses a lot it sounds like
a problem so you don’t want to be in the
spider-man movie I have no desire that
you that’s the most pathetic leg up
there oh I can tell because of your army
dead giveaway every day with all of the
Avengers in one film it was good until
Tom Hollands showed up with his juice
boxes and diva a movie come out now he
has two assistants like one dude
literally just has a backpack of juice
Bob you really need a Porsche he has a
Porsche golf car is the kids a bit much
I mean you know he’s just he’s too much
I’m like Billy Elliot calm down all
right
you were Billy Ellie he put your tutu on
and calm down all right
it’s a lot by the way
[Music]
[Applause]
all’s I know is Chris Evans is such a
nervous Nelly
he gets all I mean for you know he plays
a real butch guy in the movie yeah I
love Captain America I hate to say it
I’m not supposed to say it right I love
Chris left Captain America before the
premiere he’s all nervous and we’re
supposed to drive in the Audi’s he’s
like bro I don’t know should you go
first sure I should go first I was like
man up dude we got to go to this
premiere together and and who would win
he said he would destroy Iron Man he’d
kick Iron Man’s ass destroy everybody
except the Scarlet Witch that’s called
that’s called being magnanimous no I’m a
politician I I wanted to have a
Sebastian over sooner but he sent me
this video of him just ripping out bicep
curls with a decapitated Iron Man stole
the thing and I was like this guy’s our
method now find out what his allergies
are how did this Tom Holland rivalry
begin well I was on set and he just
wouldn’t stop talking and I was like yo
man just go your baby your babysitters
over there tell your baby decided to get
you a juice box and you know he’s just
the kids a prop all right the kids a
problem and we’re dealing with him over
at Marvel accordingly um Chris you’re
ugly okay we got it this straight and
every one’s been talking about it you’re
just really ugly Thanks
well besides beauty is on the inside and
inside you is just awful
which one do you like least which one
here have the most trouble getting along
with oh dear God
you know you know the man I mean I Tom
Hall is a problem is Bree what was it
like joining this group this universe
[Laughter]
purchase ship Don what was it like when
somebody new comes in is there like a
Nisshin is very like officer you
accepting you’re like no no no there was
definitely a hazing period I think I’m
still in it she’s still in it
yeah but and it’s good because we
actually you get to kind of play with
that we do anyway for sure in the scene
itself when she kind of shows up so it
was nice but she kind of fit right in
she paid her dues on time the initiation
dues are paid promptly membership cards
that’ll come the card comes it’ll go and
then you’re in your even written card
you’ve thought about everything exactly
I took my daughter on it a couple of
years ago when it was previously called
the Tower of Terror or something and she
wasn’t tall enough and and she was
really upset I was like now forget this
come here so I grabbed a couple of
Snickers bars and things and slammed in
the back of her shoe under a peel so I
propped her up like this my short walked
up was like what about now so and
they’re like okay and you come
responsible as well a cheery so I was
sitting in the chair this thing it’s you
know know how many hundreds of feet high
greatly stop and I’m looking at she
strapped in the you know the CDs massive
on her and I’m like yeah we beat the
system honey hold on and then it drops
and she’s like crap on us is like
screaming the whole way down like like
maybe there’s a reason that there’s a
God do that don’t do that she’s fine
she’s well if we’re working maybe when
they call rat and you know everyone’s
trying to have a good time it might be
blue suit over here there’s a few times
when we were trying to get through the
scene before he showed up so is it any
disruptive onset there there’s a 10%
drop in productivity seems reasonable
do you know what I mean